Episodes

Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception. Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coercion and deception, claiming identity and autonomy, and finding support. Therapy (including EMDR) and supportive Twitch spaces helped her reclaim her voice, streaming, and creativity; it helped her improve boundaries, grieve lost friendships, and speak publicly about rape by deception. Thicc encourages survivors to remember that healing isn’t linear, and to remember to “water your garden”. TW/CW: Religious trauma, cults, suicide, abuse, PTSD, sexual assault, coercion and deception, substance…

Join Hecate in this episode of 'Finding OK,' a healing podcast for survivors of SA and abuse, as they delve into the concept of "the male gaze", how it's internalized, its role in objectification, and its intersection with sexual healing post-trauma. Inspired by Margaret Atwood's poem from 'The Robber Bride', Hecate explores how societal beauty standards and the male gaze have influenced their self-perception, sexuality, and share reflections on their journey toward authentic pleasure and int...

In this episode Hecate discusses why menstruation can be triggering for survivors, especially for those who have been assaulted during their periods. Hecate provides statistics from medical studies indicating that a significant percentage of SA survivors were menstruating at the time of their assault. The combined social stigmas against speaking about SA and menstruation mean this is an experience that is not being talked about enough, leading to even greater feelings of isolation and shame. The...

In this episode I speak with Alisa Zipursky about her book 'Healing Honestly,' a powerful resource for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Alisa and I discuss the legitimacy of traumatic memory, the harmful myth of False Memory Syndrome, and the journey of healing through self-acceptance and community support. Alisa shares insights on overcoming self-blame and self-shame, parenting as a survivor, and finding strength in connections. Whether you're a survivor yourself or supporting one, this ...

In this episode of Finding OK, I interview Polish LGBTQ+ comic artist Monika, best known for her series 'My Secret Lesbian Comics.' Monika shares her journey as a survivor of child abuse and discusses how she processes her trauma and finds healing through her side project, 'Self-pity Social Club.' We discuss the impact of her abusive mother, the decision to go no contact, and navigating relationships within her family afterwards. Monika also shares some powerful tools from therapy, offers advice...

In this episode of Finding OK, Hecate returns after a year-long hiatus to provide an update on the podcast and share personal insights on intersectionality, kyriarchy, and the importance of understanding systemic oppression as part of healing from sexual assault and abuse. Hecate discusses the interconnectedness of personal trauma and broader social injustices, and emphasizes the need for community and collective action against systems of oppression. The episode encourages listeners to engage wi...