Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception

Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coercion and deception, claiming identity and autonomy, and finding support. Therapy (including EMDR) and supportive Twitch spaces helped her reclaim her voice, streaming, and creativity; it helped her improve boundaries, grieve lost friendships, and speak publicly about rape by deception. Thicc encourages survivors to remember that healing isn’t linear, and to remember to “water your garden”.

TW/CW: Religious trauma, cults, suicide, abuse, PTSD, sexual assault, coercion and deception, substances, and strong language.

Episode Notes:
Thicc on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/thiccsparklebutt

Therapy for Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/

Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

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Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music!
https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl...

Timestamps:
00:00 Traumatic Two Step Poem
02:12 Podcast Welcome and Guest Intro
04:40 Trigger Warnings and Support
05:51 Icebreaker Questions and Self Care
11:57 Growing Up in a Cult
17:16 Leaving and Family Fallout
23:47 Realizing It Was a Cult
28:50 Controlling Relationship in Atlanta
32:38 Podcast Friend Turns Abuser
45:32 Deception Is Not Consent
46:26 Aftermath and Reclaiming Voice
49:46 Therapy Journey and Healing
53:40 Twitch As Healing
55:22 Reclaiming Streaming
58:41 Leaving The Ex
01:00:39 Reclaiming Poetry
01:03:32 Naming The Assault
01:06:17 Speaking Out Online
01:10:59 Friends Need Boundaries
01:19:08 Forgiving Yourself
01:25:31 Race And Therapy
01:33:40 Grief And Being Undeniable
01:39:42 Inner Child Strength
01:42:53 Advice And Farewell
01:45:59 Credits And Support