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Queer Community Episodes

These episodes amplify the voices of members of the Queer Community.
Hecate is a pan enby. So, technically every episode should have this tag...but this is to help you find Queer guests <3
6
April 7, 2026

Water Your Garden

Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception. Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coercion and deception, claiming identity and autonomy, and finding support. Therapy (including EMDR) and supportive Twitch spaces helped her reclaim her voice, streaming, and creativity; it helped her improve boundaries, grieve lost friendships, and speak publicly about rape by deception. Thicc encourages survivors to remember that healing isn’t linear, and to remember to “water your garden”. TW/CW: Religious trauma, cults, suicide, abuse, PTSD, sexual assault, coercion and deception, substance…
2
July 1, 2025

Healing Through Art and Navigating No Contact

In this episode of Finding OK, I interview Polish LGBTQ+ comic artist Monika, best known for her series 'My Secret Lesbian Comics.' Monika shares her journey as a survivor of child abuse and discusses how she processes her trauma and finds healing through her side project, 'Self-pity Social Club.' We discuss the impact of her abusive mother, the decision to go no contact, and navigating relationships within her family afterwards. Monika also shares some powerful tools from therapy, offers advice...
Guest: Monika
5
Aug. 31, 2023

Escaping Fundamentalism and Speaking Out - Part 2

Part 2 of my interview with Andrew Pledger. This episode will focus on Andrew's experience with conversion therapy, how he found support exiting fundamentalism, his expulsion from BJU, and the work he's doing healing and speaking out. Andrew was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by coll...
4
Aug. 24, 2023

Escaping Fundamentalism and Speaking Out - Part 1

Andrew Pledger was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podc...
3
Aug. 8, 2023

Raising Yourself

Alice Cottonsox joins me to talk about recovering from childhood abuse, battling Agoraphobia, and facing online hate with humor. Alice is very open about her mental health struggles in her viral videos and she's helping many survivors feel less alone. Alice is being her own parent and raising herself, something that we sometimes have to do post-trauma when prolonged abuse as children has robbed us of the opportunity to grow up the way we deserved. Alice's Website: https://www.cottonsox.co.uk/ A...
2
July 25, 2023

Broken vs. Wounded

Do you think of yourself as "broken" because of your trauma? What about "wounded"? My sister Chie and I discuss how the language we use to talk about our trauma intersects with our healing. This episode is an invitation to investigate the hidden meaning that some words might be holding for us. I used to think of myself as broken but gradually shifted away from that term as I healed because I realized that for me personally, it implied irreparable harm or uselessness. Chie has very different expe...
Guest: Chie
13
Jan. 31, 2023

Did The Best I Could & Doing The Best I Can

Ruth is a survivor who has been facing her past and doing the work. She's a listener who is sharing some of her story and discussing some of the steps she's been taking in her life to heal. She's been meeting her trauma with courage, humanity, and grace that I know others will find inspiring. We discuss her assault by a family member, how her recent meeting with him went, her experiences within the Salvation Army Church, how Purity Culture has affected her, her struggles with suicidal ideation, ...
Guest: Ruth
12
Jan. 17, 2023

Self-Care and Emotional Regulation

My sister Chie joins me to talk about our evolving understanding of self-care and emotional regulation. We are both survivors navigating life and CPTSD. I hope you'll join us for some laughter and real talk. Chie has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies. Internal Family Systems Therapy https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy Spoon Theory https:...
Guest: Chie
11
Jan. 3, 2023

The Recloseted Lesbian - Processing Trauma Through Art and Storytelling

Obelis is a Lithuanian Fantasy and LGBTQ+ comic artist. Her work includes War & Tea, Meow Are You?, and The Recloseted Lesbian. Obelis tried to come out as a lesbian but was forced back into the closet by her ultra-religious, homophobic, and abusive mother. In The Recloseted Lesbian she deconstructs and processes memories from her abusive childhood. It has been read by over 21 million people on Webtoon. As she does her own trauma work she is helping survivors feel less alone. Obelis Linktree ht...
Guest: Obelis
5
Aug. 30, 2022

Purity Culture is Grooming - Part 2

Part 2 of my conversation with Kaitlin Bellamy about what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self. Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid ...
4
Aug. 16, 2022

Purity Culture is Grooming - Part 1

Kaitlin Bellamy shares what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and discusses the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse and assault. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self. Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid collecto...
9
Nov. 24, 2021

Deconstructing Religious Abuse

Anna grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family as part of the Quiverfull movement. She and her six siblings were not allowed to attend school and were very isolated from the outside world. Everything about her childhood was strictly controlled, from the clothes she wore to the media she had access to. She was expected to teach herself from primarily religious texts as well as teaching and caring for the younger children. Her future was laid out for her as a submissive wife and mother to many ...
Guest: Anna
27
Feb. 24, 2021

Horses and Yoga - Beyond Talk Therapy

Cailin returns to share new aspects of their healing journey! Cailin has started Equine Therapy and we also discuss the important role that Yoga plays in their life and healing. Join us for a conversation about somatic alternatives or additions to talk therapy. Support the show
Guest: Cailin
25
Feb. 10, 2021

Restorative Justice - Radical Imagining - Part 2

Lily Sage and I discuss the ways that our current punitive judicial system fails all of us, especially the marginalized and survivors of sexual assault, and we discuss Restorative Justice as a potential alternative. Lily and I continue our discussion about Restorative Justice, what it is, what it has to offer, how it challenges us, and some of the issues and obstacles to implementing some form of it in our society. Land Acknowledgement - Lily is joining us from O'gah'Pog'eh or White Shell Place,...
Guest: Lily Sage
24
Feb. 3, 2021

Restorative Justice - Radical Imagining - Part 1

Lily Sage and I discuss the ways that our current punitive judicial system fails all of us, especially the marginalized and survivors of sexual assault, and we discuss Restorative Justice as a potential alternative. Lily discusses a paper she wrote before the Me Too movement and how many of the concepts and ideas that were groundbreaking a decade ago are now much more a part of our evolving social consciousness. She shares her personal introduction to Restorative Justice, what it is, what it has...
Guest: Lily Sage
20
Jan. 6, 2021

bathtub in flames

Bailee Noella is the author of "bathtub in flames" and creator of Cyno Apparel, the streetwear line taking shame out of mental health conditions. Join me as I talk to her about her writing process and her healing process. Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, childhood sexual assault, OCD, PTSD, substances, the pandemic, racism and sexism in Medicine, and spirituality. bathtub in flames: https://www.amazon.com/bathtub-flames-Bailee-Noella-ebook/dp/B08Q8HJ8TD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=bathtub+in+flames+bail...
Guest: Bailee Noella
18
Dec. 16, 2020

Movies with Hecate and Kim

Kim and I talk movies and have some laughs. In this episode we cover some more movies with strong women. I talk about a movie I hate and that you should never under any circumstances watch, and Kim introduces me to the movie trope, "Born Sexy Yesterday". Born Sexy Yesterday https://youtu.be/0thpEyEwi80 Support the show
Guest: Kim
17
Dec. 9, 2020

Darker Subjects

In this episode Kim and I touch on some darker subject matter. I discuss my experiences with a human cadaver lab, responding as a bystander in a medical emergency, and using my words to escape an abuser. We also talk about how people respond to crisis and nerd it up briefly with Star Trek. Please pay attention to the content warnings, this episode is not for everyone! Tw/Cw: Death, human anatomy, blood, a story of a medical emergency, trauma, situations of trauma, molestation, stalking, and a s...
Guest: Kim
15
Nov. 25, 2020

Lucid Dreams and Navigating Nightmares

Kim and I discuss some of our experiences with lucid dreaming and share some tips that might help you. I share my struggle with nightmares in the past and a revelation in therapy that gave me insight into a reoccurring theme. Tw/Cw: PTSD, trauma, substances, nightmares, death, decay, brief mention of psych ward Support the show
Guest: Kim
14
Nov. 18, 2020

Women We Love - Movies with Hecate and Kim

Kim is an Audio Engineer, a talented musician, a pansexual trans woman, and the Queen of Memes. She loves black clothing, intense movies, video games, the NBA, and making her friends laugh. She loves her coffee sweet and her candy sour. Join us while we talk about some of the movies we love and the strong women in them that fascinate and inspire us. Tw/Cw: Substances, PTSD, trauma, abuse, domestic violence, and potential movie spoilers. Support the show
Guest: Kim
9
Oct. 14, 2020

Jury Duty

My sister Chie and I discuss most survivor's worst case senario heading into jury duty: being interviewed for a sexual assault case. We share our own experiences with this process and share advice for preparing for and handling this should it happen to you. Tw/Cw: sexual assault, trauma, PTSD, Anxiety, abuse, the court system, mention of medical marijuana, mention of Eating Disorders, CPS, and stalking. Diamonds by Climbing PoeTree - heads up, this song might be triggering and make you cry. It...
Guest: Chie
6
Sept. 23, 2020

DeSha - Part 3

DeSha speaks very openly about her experiences with abortion. Now the mother of a wonderful child DeSha opens up about the difficult decisions she made on her path to parenthood while in a covertly abusive relationship and struggling with health issues. TW/CW: Abortion, descriptions of procedures, abusive relationships, trauma, sex, addiction, and substances. Support the show
Guest: DeSha
5
Sept. 16, 2020

DeSha - Part 2

DeSha shares more of her personal story in this episode. She talks about her relationship with a covert abuser, shares red flags, and reflects on the past with compassion and wisdom from a place of healing and growth. TW/CW: Developmental trauma, PTSD, abuse, abusive relationship, depression, chronic illness, suicide, addiction, substances, childbirth, pregnancy, abortion, Postpartum Depression, weight loss. Support the show
Guest: DeSha
4
Sept. 9, 2020

DeSha - Part 1

DeSha shares how EMDR therapy has changed her life, what sessions are like, and offers advice for anyone interested in trying it for themselves. We also talk about some seldom discussed somatic symptoms of PTSD and trauma that can leave people doubting themselves and feeling alone. DeSha is an editorial & lifestyle photographer, and a loving partner and mother. Support the show
Guest: DeSha